Tuesday, April 24, 2007
 |
I sometimes have been heard to say that I was a genius child who turned into an average adult. I don’t know if that’s as true as I used to think it was. People nowadays constantly astound me with their stupidity. For lack of better writing material at the moment, and because I’m tired of writing sophomoric essays for my brother, I will regale you with some tales from the distant and not-so-distant past. I was at a grocery store with a friend once and we overheard a lady make a remark to her son who had thrown some frozen french fries in the cart. The mother exclaimed, “Why you put those in there? We ain’t gettin’ no frozen food. You think I want radiation poisenin’ from all those micro-waves?” Clearly she lived in the amish ghetto. I was watching a movie this weekend. In the movie a man had been shot and his psychiatrist, who he had kidnapped, was trying to stop for medical supplies. He didn’t want to let her out, for fear she would try to escape. She said, “You’ve been shot. I can help fix you. I’m a doctor.” Bravo to the screenwriter who came up with that line. Way to put that DeVry education to work. Listening to a local radio show the other morning, there was talk about legal issues involving children. One listener called in a gave a lengthy speech about the subject. When asked by the radio personality whether he was a lawyer or not, the dude replied, “Nah, man. I saw that shit on Law & Order the other night.” I wonder if his name was Alberto Gonzales. The President, until just recently, denied the human impact on climate change. ‘Nuf said. This one time, at a Nature Day Camp I taught at, one of the little girls came up to me and asked if I knew her brother. I replied that I didn’t and then she said, “He got AIDS.” I was a little shocked and I told her that wasn’t something appropriate to talk about at camp. She went on to elaborate, “You don’t know. Just listen. My brother was outside playing in the driveway yesterday and he stepped on a nail and now he got AIDS.” No child may be getting left behind anymore, but that girl most definitely fell off the bus long ago. Sad, but true. Last one. Not really a story, but more of a saying to keep in mind. “Quitters never win, and winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.” |
