It’s terrible.
It’s like a combination of anger and sadness tinged with just a touch of guilt, b/c I know I should be happy for them but I’m not. I’m not because it should be me. I should be the one being proposed to. I should be the one getting married. I’ve been a relationship longer. I’ve done everything right (minus a few things). I try. Every single day. I go the distance and put in the effort and so why the hell has he not asked me yet? What the hell is wrong with him? Because I really don’t think it’s me. I at least have to tell myself that because if it’s me and I’m just repeating the same mistakes as before, then it means I should have left long ago.
I am so jealous.
