When in doubt, choose option c June 16, 2007

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Picture this: It’s a beautiful spring night. Your psychobitch roomie has just moved out and your pals are over helping you switch rooms. You’re working hard, laughing hard, and enjoying some pizza and booze. All of a sudden, there’s a knock on the door. You open it and see a much older, more decrepid and evil looking version (if that’s possible) of ex-roomie. It’s her mother – with ex-roomie in tow. She accuses you of stealing her daughter’s lamp, the same one that’s been sitting in the corner for the past 3 days. This doesn’t surprise you because you’re used to ridiculous accusations and paranoid ramblings by now. As you gladly hand over the ugly lamp and shut the door you hear her call you an unpleasant name. What do you do? a) Let it go. Be happy that it’s over with and you don’t have to worry about psychobitches anymore. b) Wish that you actually had stolen the lamp so that you could pull an Office Space scene and destroy it to the tunes of gangsta rap in the background. c) Run over to the open window and yell out, “Hey I think you forgot something else.” As they turn to look, whip out your middle finger and high five your friends as you all laugh. You are awesome. I don’t know about you, but when this happened to me last night, I chose door number 3. It was classic. On second thought, maybe I should’ve just shoved the lamp up her ass to go with the many other things that I’m sure are firmly lodged.  She’s finally gone.

skinny rich bitch? not quite, but I’m trying June 16, 2007

This is all about me (and, really – isn’t it always?), so if you don’t want to hear me brag about my awesomeness anymore than I usually do don’t bother continuing. I’m about to go supernova. You ready?

I had my employee performance review yesterday. Cue the dramatic soap opera music. I honestly  love my job, despite some of the more tedious things I end up having to do. Seriously.  I guess it’s been pretty evident that I’ve been busting ass, because my boss sat me down and said some of the most wonderful things I’ve ever had anyone ever say to me. And, no, it wasn’t just because I brought her back a fancy set of chopsticks from Chinatown in SF when I was there for AAAS.  At the end of the praise-filled spiel she unvieled the paperwork, and – lo and behold – I’m getting a 6% raise and anywhere between a $3k-$5k bonus (depending on how many other people get “Oustanding” ratings). Booyah!

Not only have I been busting ass at work, but I’ve been ramping up the routine at the gym lately. Still have a little more to go before I get to where I’d like to be, but after today’s workout I bridged the hump I’ve been trying to get over. I went out with some friends last night, sporting a cute new dress – one that didn’t fit a few weeks ago – and got a ton of compliments. Validation. I don’t usually talk about this because it’s a sore subject with me, but I feel the need to  give myself kudos for the hard work. So the next time you see me, tell me how good I look and it’ll make my day. 

Oh… and one last wonderful thing -  kickball season has started! We had our first official get-together last Thursday and it was so much fun. It’s most definitely going to be a good summer.