Even superheroes cry June 16, 2007

Sunday, January 14, 2007

If you know me, or pretend like you do by reading my myspace, then you undoubtedly realize how awesome I am. I’m a superhero…and not just because I save the world on a daily basis. I consistently put effort into not sucking and into helping others achieve some semblance of goodness in their lives. I try, even if it doesn’t always work out. However, being forever the cynic, I sometimes get off track. If all else fails, destroy all evidence of trying. This is a good philosphy, but one that I have a hard time in following b/c I’m such an attention whore. I put my life out here for the world to see. Granted, I try not to blog about my failures as much as my achievements, but this particular one from this past weekend  is too good to pass up. Weekends are wonderful around here because I’m usually hangin’ with the MeetIn crew or other pals and doing a ton of cool stuff. This past weekend was no exception. I found myself one evening in a bar (no surprise there) chatting up some fine young gentlemen. One, I’m pretty sure was into me. He bought me a couple drinks as we exchanged witty banter and whatnot. I, however, was more into his friend who also happened to be part of the group. Normally, I don’t put forth a lot of effort into meeting guys at bars, and it certainly doesn’t take much to keep their attention. I mean  -c’mon – I am witty, and semi-decent looking, and a superhero, btw. However, due to some extenuating circumstances and the fact that I’d been drinking a bit more than usual, I felt an unusual urge to put more into it than usual. Now, I didn’t go flashing anyone, and I certainly didn’t do anything untowards – although, in hindsight maybe that would have been the way to go.  I focused all my efforts on the one I was into, but by the end of the evening, nothing much came of it and I felt rejected – something I haven’t felt like in awhile. It’s not a pleasant feeling, and certainly not one that I’m used to. I’m used to getting what I want, especially when I try. It was humbling not to for once, but by the end of the night – after too much booze and self-defeating thoughts circling in my mind – I was not in good shape. I guess even superheroes cry sometimes. It was the first time since I’ve moved out here though, the first time in almost six months. I hate the fact that I depend on others’ opinions so damn much and that when I don’t get constant positive feedback, I feel inadequate. I know I’m awesome – seriously, I do. But it helps to hear it from other people sometimes. It was the fact that this dude left without seeming that interested in me, despite the wittiness, the innuendo, and the genuine effort put forth. It was the fact that this was my first weekend back to being single after a good, yet lacking relationship. It was especially the fact that one of my friends ditched me for the third time in a row after I’d invited him out for the evening. I just felt really disappointed by the end of the night. And I’m afraid that this post is also a bit disappointing in that it lacks the usual humor and wit that we’ve all come to love and expect. I’m sorry. Even superheroes have bad days.

Blogging for the masses – advocating illiteracy June 16, 2007

Tuesday, December 05, 2006 I’m one of those people who reads others’ blogs on a regular basis and then gets mad when they don’t post consistently. I’ve even called people out for leaving me hanging for an extended period of time. I mean, it’s hard enough to keep up with all the intimate details of my friends’ lives, let alone complete strangers. Some people think no one reads their blog, so why bother. Others just use it as an outlet to bitch about things like how their third nipple itches or how they wish Jeb Bush would run for President and win so that we can officially be declared a democracy of imbeciles. I use my blog to brighten the days of all those out there who, like me, have nothing better to do sometimes. Sometimes, you just have to strip down to your skivvies*, pop open a Diet Pepsi (or Natty Light if you’re one of my Illini brethren), turn up the music, and blog. *Note to the wise: if you’re at work, you should probably leave the clothes on-. Personally, I’ve tried not to fall into the abyss of apathy when it comes to my own blog, but I must admit it’s not much of a priority nowadays. My private blog (which really isn’t so private if you look hard enough) has been long neglected – I’ve only posted on it a few times since I moved to DC. I re-read some of it the other day while looking for memorable events – to personalize the Demotivations ‘07 calendar I’m making –  and realized that I’ve had an interesting past five years. I should publish. I mean, if some idiot like Dave Eggers can drop out of UofI and make millions off of his mundane memoirs, I should be able to make some dough off of some of this crap. I did get published once on the now defunct Black Table – that should count for something. My blog is over 300 pages, single spaced. If that doesn’t make for good reading, then at least it would make a good doorstop. Or, it could be like one of those Christmas gifts you give people you don’t like. It could be the fruitcake of the new millenium. Oh wait, that would be Mark Foley. My bad. (Low blow, I know – but you can’t live in DC without bad political jokes). And as with most of my bloggings, which leave you with an anticlimactic aftertaste – that’s it for now.