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What? What was that? Did I hear you correctly? Did you just say ROAD TRIP?! Yeeaahhh, that’s right. I would’ve blogged about this sooner, but the little science gremlins at the office had me sequestered for most of the week in what shall herein be referred to as WFH 1.0 (Week From Hell, part I) and I actually had to work while I was at work. Go figure. But, last weekend’s festivities were just too good to let pass without a word, so a-blogging we go. I got invited to be a wedding date at the last minute. My friend, Kevin, had been having some relationship difficulties with the now ex-gf and I subbed in because, really, I am the most fun person to have around for road trips. The wedding was down in Fredericksburg. It very well could have been back in IL, considering all of the plaid shirts, jeans, and southern twangs. I’m suprised there wasn’t anyone there with a can of Skoal. It was not the most back-country wedding I’ve ever been to, but it certainly came close. Here’s the running commentary of what I was thinking as the day progressed: Wow, this thing sure is out in the boonies. What? It’s in the backyard? What yard? All I see is a mud pit with a pvc pipe running from underneath the house. Why, oh why did I wear heels? Everyone else is in jeans or very poorly fitting Wal-Mart garb. I should really have listened when Kevin said to dress down. Damn, there are a lot of kids here. Baby mama drama. How many of those belong to the bride-to-be? Only 2? Hmm… Wait, the pastor dude’s an hour late. This is beginning to suck. Oh, good. He’s here. No chairs, where should I stand? Doesn’t matter, huh. Guess not since they’ve already started. Is that a prom dress she’s wearing? Why does her smile look so pained? Well, if I was marrying that guy, I’d probably be in pain too. Wait, did that kid just run out in the middle of the ceremony? There goes another one. That’s what kid leashes are for. Seriously, if they’re not going to close the gate, they should at least tie them up to keep them from interrupting this sorry excuse for a wedding. I know, I know. Some people like it low-key, but this is more than low-key. This is low-class. Okay, it’s over. Can we leave now? No, wait… the bride’s going to take a trip around the yard in her ATV. Yeah, that’s classy. I might understand if it were before the ceremony and she was trying to run away, but who ever heard of taking a celebratory lap on a four-wheeler after a wedding? Time for food. Oh no they did not. Someone put bbq sauce in the potatoe salad. I need to leave. Now. Needless to say, it was not the most romantic or enjoyable get-together I’ve ever been too, but it was interesting to see how other people do things. It also adds to my list of things not to do when I get marrried. All-in-all, it really wasn’t that bad. It was cool to meet some of Kevin’s pals and get out of town. After it was through we decided to head down to Richmond to visit our friend, Char. No road trip would be complete without a peremptory stop at the ABC store and the WaWa. Good stuff. Made it down to Richmond and hung out. It was a lot of fun. I think Char’s giant gallon-sized bottle of wine may have made it even moreso. A few things that may or may not have happened that evening: -someone repeating that they’re “warm and fuzzy” – Kevin mentioning, “I’ve got something warm and fuzzy”, crazy monkey-sex noises, lots of hilarity, apples2apples, the police being called, getting in trouble by the po’s for being too loud (not to mention warm and fuzzy), good times. So yeah… my weekends always turn out pretty damn good. How could it not be good when there’s road-trippin’ involved? Ten-four, over and out. |
