Saturday, October 07, 2006
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I know it’s been awhile since my last post, folks. Sorry. I usually save this kind of thing for work. Lately, though, I’ve actually had a lot of work to do at work. Go figure. But, rest assured. I would never disappoint my loyal fanbase – all 5 of you. Ha. So, sit down and feel free to point and laugh the next time you see me. This one’s a doozy. I think I mentioned in my last post that I was going to attempt the speed dating thing. One of my friends told me about it and, after careful consultation with some of my peeps (one of whom laughed and said, “Only you, Liz. Only you.” ), I decided to give it a shot. If nothing else, it makes for good blogging fodder. So I singed up for this thing. It was held last Tuesday at the Front Page, which – coincidentally – happens to be right in the same building as my office. This convenience was one of the main selling points. However, what I failed to realize was that the very night that this thing was supposed to be going on was the same night that the NSF was hosting its monthly lecture, Cafe Scientifique. This thing is a public lecture held at the Front Page every first Tuesday of the month; most who attend are actually NSF faculty. So, while I’m sitting inside working my magic on the men – right next to the big event sign, no less – a bunch of my coworkers are sitting, watching me through the window during the lecture as they conspicuously try not to point and laugh. About halfway through, a couple of them came in to wave and smirk. Lovely. Regardless, it was still a good experience. Not one that I think I’ll ever be repeating, but an interesting night nonetheless. The group of chicks there were all pretty cool and well put-together. The guys though were a different story altogether. It was pretty obvious why some of them had to resort to speed dating to meet women. I heard one of the lamest answers to my “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done” question. The guy was all like, “Well… I’m not much of a crazy person but I once ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the jelly.” So I’m sitting there thinking… ummm… yeah… so this dude just ate a peanut butter sandwich. It took me a minute to realize he was trying to be funny. As my old roomie and good friend, Chris, would say, “Unfunny joke. No, really. Stop. It’s not funny.” I didn’t say it, but I sure as hell was thinking it. I didn’t want to be mean though. It was already sad enough of an attempt without rubbing salt in the wound. Anyway, so the evening ended without meeting anyone of significance. I honestly cannot see myself going out with any of the guys I met that night. Definitely an experience for the future best-selling autobiography. Since we’re on the subject of meeting men… I heard one of the best bad pickup lines ever not too long ago. Actually, it may just have moved up to being a good pickup line since it’s a spinoff of one I’ve heard before. Here goes: So I’m sitting at a bar-like area with some pals and my back is turned to this dude. I turn around slightly to get another drink and while I’m waiting for the bartender’s attention, the guy asks, “Why do you hate me?” Now, normally, an unsuspecting chick would then say, “What? I don’t hate you. Why would you say that?” And then the guy would go, “Because you’ve been ignoring me all this time when all I wanted to do was talk to you and maybe buy you a drink.” Well, that’s how it went the first time a heard it back in the day, and it actually worked alright. This time though I just wasn’t in the mood and so I replied, “Oh, it’s not me that hates you. It’s my friend here. She thinks guys who wear pink shirts are pricks.” He didn’t quite know how to respond, so it kind of nulled the attempt. I must admit though, the whole pink shirt thing… a little overdone. Oh… and speaking of things that just are not a good idea. Molester Mike has convinced me to hang out with him outside of the kickball gang. He’s actually a really cool guy when he’s sober, but his antics from the last time I saw him (which I blogged about not too long ago) kinda skeeved me out. It’ll be interesting to see how he is away from the team. I think he’s coming to this comedy show thing on Wednesday with me. My friend Emily said she might go, so it’ll be a good thing to have someone there to get my back if things don’t go so smoothly. Fun times. Anyway… that’s it for the evening. My mother’s in town this weekend, so rest assured there will be plenty more coming along shortly. I’ve been trying really hard to be pleasant with her, but she makes it so damned difficult sometimes. Makes me wanna smack a bitch. That’s all I’m going to say for now. More to come, folks. Til then, peace out. And don’t forget to make your donations to the Liz Lawrence Fund for Excellence. The fiscal year has ended, but your donation is tax deductible if made before Dec 31. I;m not kidding on this one. I will totally take your money if you want to give me some. Cool Liz can’t be so cool if she doesn’t have the cash. Anyways, peace out, my peeps. |
